thank god i caught a cold…

…yea, i know.  it sounds crazy. but, it’s the truth. had it not been for the scratchy throat, achy back, throbbing head and, dare i not forget, the running nose – i may have never stumbled upon the greatest thing since sliced bread (i always wondered what that expression meant). puffs kleenex with vicks. that’s what it meant.

that’s right – i am paying homage…to a tissue. and i’m not ashamed. cause this  is not just any tissue. this thing is laced. somehow, someway – they managed to combine vapor rub, lotion and cotton into a masterpiece. one that’s been brushing against my stuffy nose all day long. literally.

it all began that cold, wet, icy evening after a long day at work, and an even longer commute home. the poor little roll of toilet tissue i had stolen from my bathroom only the day before (i was out of kleenex) was dwindling down to nothing as i cursed the charmin commercial that promised it was 2 rolls in one. 2 rolls my butt. anyway… as i sneezed my way closer to the bed that was surely calling, i pulled into the cvs lot to claim some ‘get well’ items.  i strolled thru the aisles picking up 2 cans of chicken noodle soup (it was buy one, get one free so i had to get 2), orange juice (altho i was mad they only had the little bottles – cvs should really consider carrying larger sizes), and we can’t forget the little ghiradelli chocolates with the caramel centers (mmm…i think i’ll blog about those next), i darn near forgot i had come in there for kleenex in the first place.

eyes diverting to the yellow sale stickers first (after all, we are living in a recession people), there it was: my snotty salvation in a blue box. on sale for$1.69. i tried to grab two, but since i failed to find a basket when i walked into the store, i was now holding in my arms 2 cans of soup, orange juice, ghiradelli chocolates, (some other choice items i’ll intentionally leave out), and still had to leave a free hand to grab a pack of toilet tissue (remember that roll from earlier – yea, that was just about my last) – i could only manage to hold box. bad idea – i think it’s almost out. and not because i had that much to blow… but i just couldn’t help myself!

i mean, who would’ve thunk that the very next day i’d be dedicating an entire web space to aisle 7 of the cvs. this stuff is like crack. one inhale and it’s curtains! and here i was thinking all this time you were supposed to blow out into a tissue – not so much! it’s all about breathing in baby! ahhhh…. (give me a sec while i … ahhhh)

sorry – where was i? yes, the tissue. it’s wonderful! so wonderful that i made a complete fool of myself at my job today. my new job. mind you, i’ve only been there 4 days. and as if the fact that i strolled up in there with a larger-than-life afro (knowing good and well i was rocking a long wavy weave when i came into that very same office for a meeting only the week before) didn’t draw extra attention, the fact that the thick, black chick with the gap-toothed smile was walking around with a tissue affixed to her nose all day offering people this new, amazing kleenex – well, that just had to take the cake. (but to my defense, i did have quite a few repeat offenders come by my desk stealing tissues out my box – i saw you ben!)

but i can’t blame him. it’s addictive. so addictive, i’m gonna end this blog and go blow my nose…

til next time,

la.

ps… i’m really not down for the shameless plugs (unless of course, i’m plugging my own stuff), but i gotta tell ya – i’m getting nothing from puffs for this one! however…if any puffs people are out there reading this, feel free to email me for an address where you can send the check…